


"What Are We?"

by AlysGuthrie



Category: Ghost (Sweden Band)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-09-07 01:44:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16844632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlysGuthrie/pseuds/AlysGuthrie
Summary: Papa Emeritus II and Reader go way back. Their relationship changed when he ascended to Papacy, but Reader couldn't be less upset about it.These two struggle against one another through many relationship changes.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So this will be the first fanfic I've posted on here so I'm a bit nervous yet excited. This was written because I fawn over II constantly and making a romantic story with him is a great way to express it. So without further ado, enjoy!
> 
> CHAP SUMMARY: Emeritus II crashes at Reader’s house for the night after a party.

For no real reason, my chest clenched dreadfully. There was nowhere to turn to but my books and bed. You were out with Earth and Air so I couldn't contact you, though I wouldn't want to disturb your night out anyways. This was the one night you had off all week, and as much as I had been jealous that the Ghouls got your time, they called dibs before I did. I felt so selfish for wanting you all to myself. I'm ultimately yours, but were you mine? No. For all I know you could find someone better at the club tonight. 

I had been zoned out for quite some time, eyes trained on a blank spot on the wall as I sat in a corner of my bed. It came to an end when you knocked on my bedroom door. It could only be you, considering you were the only one that knew where my spare key was. 

“Come in,” I said as my eyes came back to reality. You walked in, shades on and shoulders lax. This was definitely a sign that you had been drinking. I spared the smallest smile as it was all I could manage. “How was your night?” 

You rid yourself of your blazer, setting it on the corner of my tv. “Great. You should have come.” I only shook my head and distracted myself by making my way to you, removing your tie and sunglasses. 

“I don't drink,” I explained patiently. I grabbed a coat hanger from the closet and placed your jacket and tie on it, then the glasses on my desk. 

Your brows knitted together. “Why didn't you tell me?” I had told you every time, but the alcohol never failed to wipe that from your brain. You've tried to convince me to party with you countless weekends, and each time my answer was the same. 

I placed an arm around your back. “Let me help you lay down,” I suggested, leading your staggering feet to my twin sized bed. “I'll be back with water.” The moment I tried to walk away, your hand grabbed my arm. 

“Don't leave me.” You looked awkward as if you didn't expect yourself to say that as much as I wasn't expecting it. You'd never say such a thing sober. When I used to drink my raw self would come out, could you be the same way? 

I gave you a comforting grin. “I'll only be gone for a minute, I'm coming back.” A slight chuckle laced my sentence. You sighed and let go. 

The funniest part though, was when I came back you were completely passed out, and somehow my cat snuck through the opened door undetected. He was snuggled into your side, purring away as if his long hair wouldn't stick to you and become an irritation later. 

I set up my own place to sleep on the couch in the living room. You were occupying my bed and it would feel wrong to share it with you. I would've loved to, but it was a bad idea. We were only friends no matter how much I liked you. With my spare bedding set up, I curled up in the warmth and was lulled to sleep. 

That morning, a rough tongue lapping at my cheek woke me up. My eyebrows furrowed and my eyes reluctantly opened to see my cat as the culprit. “Sawyer, stop.” My voice was a soft croak. I gently pushed the Himalayan fur-ball out of my personal space. He chirped at me and flopped across my chest to try to gain my affections once more. A heavy sigh escaped me and I closed my eyes in defeat. 

“He is quite the lover,” your voice cut through my grogginess. I opened my eyes and looked to the direction behind my head. You were leaned against the wall with crossed arms. Your jacket and tire were in place once more.

I blinked the sleep from my eyes. “Morning, Sleeping Beauty. How's your head?” There waa no doubt in my mind that you'd have a hangover after a night like that. 

You stayed calm and replied as if nothing was aching at all. That is why I woke you with the cat actually. I would appreciate Tylenol, but I am not sure where you store your medicine.” that made me scoff in amusement. 

I scooped Sawyer into my arms as I sat up, setting him down on an empty piece of cushion. “How many times have you been here and needed painkillers?” I stood with a smirk. 

“In my defense, you have never showed me where to find it before,” you quipped back. 

“Have I not? Well, it's about time we change that then.” I waved you over to follow me as I headed towards the bathroom. There was a cabinet bolted to the wall above the toilet. Opening it, I pulled out a white bottle with red circular tablets inside. “Two will do the job.” 

You nodded to show your gratitude and took the pills. Maybe I should've offered you some water to wash them down with, but you didn't seem to have any trouble taking them dry. To stop myself from staring at you while in thought, I passed out of the bathroom and to the kitchen. 

“Go ahead and help yourself to anything, you know the drill.” I opened the pantry to look for something simple to grab, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me. 

I looked at you with a questioning expression. “Sit down, I will make breakfast.” My mouth gaped, but you held a hand up to silence me before a single word could escape. “I insist.” You'd never offered me anything like this before. Maybe this was for the times you've needed supervision like last night? I'd never ask for anything in return, but it was nice to be the one cared for once in a while. 

You looked at me expectedly until I stepped out of the pantry door in defeat. “Thank you,” I muttered before making myself comfortable on the counter top. My legs softly swung as I watched you grab things to make pancakes with. 

I just couldn't work through our bond in my head. You spoiled other women endlessly with lavish gifts, yet simple gestures such as this were rare towards me. It was also notable that you kept showing up at my door and not theirs no matter how gracious you were to them. I wish I knew what this all meant. 

I must have spaced out because I noticed my eyes were stuck on the spot in front of me when you spoke. “What is on your mind?” my gaze snapped to my left, seeing your focus divided between the griddle and I. 

I settled on an answer after a pause. “Just tired,” my voice trailed off. I hate lying to you, but I couldn't tell you rhsy you were what occupied my thoughts.

You clearly didn't buy it. A piercing multicolored state was trying to read me, but it fell short of the truth. You didn't say any more on the matter, in fact you changed the subject completely. “Was your night well?”

This sort of small talk wasn't uncommon between us. The morning after a wild night was always awkward, consisting of a breakfast with superficial conversation then you'd leave. Our relationship had been reduced to this once you ascended to papacy. I shook my head. 

“Sorry, I spaced again.” I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “It was find. I didn't do anything special. Did you find Misses Right at the bar?” 

Why did I have to say that? I knew you hadn't, you never did. That probably wasn't even your goal in the first place, considering you go through women like socks. If I could slap myself right now I would, and the silence you were leaving me with only made the feeling worse. Say something, [Y/N], anything! 

I rubbed my arm nervously. “I'll be back.” With that being said, I sped walked out of the room to lock myself in the bathroom. I leaned my back against the door, sliding down it until I was sitting on the tiled floor. I never wanted to open that door again. 

What was with me? You made one nice gesture towards me and now I can't do anything right. You just had to come around when you needed something, and that something was never me, was it? No, you needed a bed that wasn't at home. Is that all I am to you anymore? I only see you when you're like this nowadays. I miss you. 

Those thoughts were getting out of control and I had to stop them before I have a breakdown while you're still in my house. I got up from the floor and made my way to the sink. Turning the faucet on, I splashed the cold water on my face a couple times. I turned it off and dried myself. 

When I opened the bathroom door and forced myself out I was expecting to see you at the table, but you weren't there. Instead, all I found was a plate of two pancakes and a clean kitchen. I raced into my room to find my phone. There was no way you would leave without some sort of explanation no matter how inconsiderate your company may feel sometimes. 

There was one message from you. I unlocked my phone with urgency and gazed upon the text. 

‘'I had errands to run. Take care, [Y/N].’ 

That was it? You took off without saying goodbye, all for errands? I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt a little. That was a new low, and it was all because I couldn't keep my mouth shut. 

After staring at the message for a couple minutes, I finally replied with reluctancy. 

‘Take care’


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very proud of this part and I hope you enjoy it!! I would also like to say thank you to the those who commented on the first part and showed support. 
> 
> WARNINGS: Almost sexual content, read at your own risk! Alcohol.
> 
> CHAP SUMMARY: After days of not contacting Reader, Emeritus II breaks the silence.

A few days had passed. No messages invading the silence of my inbox, no knock was placed upon my door, and- most importantly- no you in my life. Was this really how it ends? We spent years together, and for what now? 

The entire day was dedicated to cleaning my apartment. There was only one room to go, and I was determined to make this place spotless from top to bottom. I headed to my room in silence, not even playing music like I normally do. You would've been in every melody. 

With a laundry basket on my hip, I gathered the bits of clothes scattered on the floor. The place looked pretty bad the past few days. The last piece of clothing was a bra sitting on the corner of my desk. I mindlessly grabbed it, but a reflection off the item next to it caught my eye. 

Just when I thought my life was vacant of any reminder of you, your stupid sunglasses presented themselves. You must have left them when you hurried out. I put the bra in the basket before picking up the glasses with care. 

The air remained still for a moment as I stared at the accessory with a frown. They felt so fragile and expensive. One crush of my hand could completely obliterate them. The flame in my heart burned brighter, telling me to give them a squeeze as if it would completely get rid of you. 

I put them down.

No, I was better than that. You won't break me. With a deep breath, I left to the laundry room to start the load. 

Leaning my back against the buzzing washing machine, I crossed my arms over my chest. 

I should call you. Maybe all you needed was a little push! A smile adorned my lips and I almost skipped out of the laundry room. I retrieved my phone from the coffee table, selected your contact, and held it to my ear. 

Hope warmed my spirit as the line rang. The third ring soon faded the smile off my lips. You would've answered by now. Whatever, it wasn't immediately denied. There was no reason to work myself up.

Voicemail. 

I hung up quickly and set the phone down. 

My hands hid the expanse of my face and I screamed into them. “Why!” My sounds of despair were muffled. After a moment of cooling down, my face was uncovered once more and a sigh followed. Why did I even try? You didn't need me. 

Ring ring.

The buzzing and ringing elicited a jump from me. 'Emeritus II’. I answered the phone in record time.

“Hey, what's up?” My voice sang with perhaps a bit too much energy.

Shifting could be heard for a moment before your precious voice came through. “I need you, [Y/N].” 

I paused to think over my response. “Is everything okay?” 

“Yes,” you answered quicker than a second, “please come over. I am at the church.” 

A bit of deliberation led me to cave in, red hot anger soothed to grey. “I'll head over in a bit.” 

You hung up with no goodbye. My uneasy stomach knotted furiously.

I showered in ten minutes, brushing my hair and teeth, and quickly putting together my appearance. It was not extravagant, but I knew I looked presentable for my standards. 

The washing machine dinged and I rushed to it. This load of laundry was the only thing keeping me from leaving. It still had to be dried and put away, but there wasn't the time for that. You were just out of reach and another waiting second might kill me. 

My brain concocted the perfect solution in a few minutes. I could hang them up in the bathroom over the tub! Not only will they safety dry, but they won't wrinkle or become dirty again. I did so in a flash. 

With nerves that only grew by the minute, I grabbed my keys and headed out. Beside me in the passenger's seat were your sunglasses, the assumed item of your interest. The drive felt torturously long, though it was only fifteen minutes in reality. 

My car swung into the lot with urgency and parked not so gracefully. The radio clock read 8:27pm. It's a wonder you weren't at the club by now.

Well, this was it. The reunion after a disheartening separation. Climbing out of the vehicle with your glasses in hand, I locked it before trekking to the large double doors. There seemed to be no noise, giving off the impression that no church activities were in motion. Company such as mine might not be expected. I left a knock on the door and it opened in a few moments. 

Standing before me was a timid sister, asking if she could help me. She permitted me entrance once I explained my business. She led me down a dark, eerie hallway in silence. Our journey ended at a closed door and she knocked on it for me.

It didn't take long for the request to be answered and reveal you to my delighted eyes. 

“This young lady says you were expecting her, is that correct?” 

Your dual toned gaze combed the hallway before locking onto me. “Yes. Thank you, sister.” She bowed and dismissed herself. Moving out of the doorway, you gestured for me to go inside. “Come.”

My nervous self shuffled into your room and the door was closed behind me. Before I could forget, I held your sunglasses out to you. 

“Were you looking for these?” I offered a lighthearted grin. You took them and gave a small grin of your own. 

You set the glasses down on a shelf as if they were unimportant. “No, but I appreciate it.” You took a step closer to me. 

Out of instinct I took a step back with a questioning expression. “Then why did you need me?” A hand was placed on my right arm and I froze. You took another step closer. 

“Am I allowed to simply want you here?” The tone of your voice was intoxicating and my heart fluttered. 

I shrugged. “I guess.” Where this was going was a mystery, but not a single complaint was coming from me. “You should've called sooner.”

You placed a finger to my lips, causing me to look at your hand before returning my vision to your face. “Fret not. You are here now, that is all I care about.” 

My mouth opened when the finger pulled away, though no words formed when I saw you leaning closer to me. “Emeritus-”

Our lips met.

A spark of longed for satisfaction encased my being. I indulged myself in your affections, kissing you back when the shock wore off. Unfortunately, It didn't last forever. 

“So, it is true,” you whispered. A free hand caressed my cheek with ghost-like pressure as if you feared breaking me. “You love me.” 

I was the one to take a step closer this time. There was no use in hiding since you've made the first move. “I have for years.”

An uninvited smile crept onto your lips, and I found one on mine too. Nothing else was said, there was no need for words. 

You wrapped your arms around my waist, pulling me completely flushed to your chest. My arms were around your neck in response. Our lips met slowly at first, but one kiss after another, they turned more urgent. You bit at my bottom lip, tugging it and forcing a quiet moan to escape me. 

We parted, panting and looking at one another. The hold we had on each other lingered a little longer before you started playing with the hem of my shirt. 

“I have always wanted to see you.” Your eyes trailed down to my chest.

You didn't have to ask, my shirt was off without missing a beat. The only thing adorning my chest was a bra, causing your greedy gaze to take in what I put on display. “I'd love it if you'd return the favor. You're not the only one that's been daydreaming.” 

You let out a hum of approval, eyes staying put as your hands fiddled with the buttons of your shirt. I watched closely, biting my lip at the first bit of exposed skin. it didn't take you long to shrug off the shirt and grab me once more. 

As my hands roamed the smooth skin of your back, your lips attacked my neck with sloppy kisses. My chin lifted to give you unlimited access. 

Our heavy pants filled the room while you walked me into the wall. I must admit, we weren't very graceful about it. My leg bumped your nightstand, causing the bottle setting on it to spill. The amber liquid spread across the surface and dripped onto the floor with ease. 

The bottle had been opened previous to my arrival.

The lips still exploring my neck was so tempting to give into, but this wasn't right. 

“Emeritus,” I mumbled. 

A groan vibrated from your throat and you trapping me against your chest and the wall more tightly. 

My hands placed themselves on your chest, creating the distance once more. “Emeritus, listen.” Your face pulled up and was inches from mine. “Have you been drinking?”

A lazy grin matched your half lidded eyes. “Only a bit,” you answered nonchalantly. What a lie. You were very beside yourself tonight, but the feeling of favoritism had blinded me. This was no more than another drunken routine for you.

Pushing past one of the arms that kept me trapped in your embrace, I sprung away from you. I retrieved my shirt from the bedroom floor.

Your eyes bore a hole into my being. “What are you doing?” 

“I'm leaving.” Tugging the shirt over my head and onto my abdomen, I pulled the car keys from my back pocket. 

In a panic, you began to approach me with outstretched hands, yearning for me to stay. “Why? [Y/N], please! I need you!”

My feet paused just short of the door. “But not like I need you.” 

The trembling of my chin was the sign that I needed to get out of there. Ripping the door open, I nearly booked it out of the place. Curious eyes of bystanders dug into me, but I didn't offer a single word of explanation. The attention was suffocating me.

The first breath of nightly air was relieving. All the clergy members that had witnessed me storm out and the problem itself was behind me. The journey to the car was a rushed one, I was overly eager to leave the lot. 

My car pulled out quickly and sped off onto the path back home. 

Hot tears blurred the road from my vision no matter how hard I tried to wipe them away. The mix of rejection and regret made for lethal impact on my already damaged heart. 

The original idea that I had been different from the company at the bar was thrown out of the window. You saw me as you did them- A sexual convenience.

How could we ever recover from this? You had the knowledge that I loved you now, showing my face to you wasn't an option. if I'm fortunate enough, you'll never call me again.


End file.
